Metal Mouth Contemplates The End Of Spring Break.

So I got braces.
It was fairly anticlimactic. I expected to come back from the orthodontist with all kinds of stories for you that I could exaggerate and make exciting. But basically, all that happens is...
They take out your spacers (which is like that feeling you get when a panda sits on you for a long time and then he gets up).
They test all these little metal things to see if they fit around your teeth (if they do, it's fine. If they don't, it kind of hurt...see? There's not even any horrible pain to tell you about!).
When they find metal rings that fit, they glue them on. The glue tastes awful. It's supposed to be cherry-flavored. It tastes like glue with a tiny squirtage of cherry on it. It's not even good cherry. It's like that nasty artificial stuff that they put in cough syrup. The metal rings feel weird.
They put this white thing in your mouth that stretches your lips and keeps them open. This also feels weird, and you feel rather ridiculous.
They glue the brackets on your teeth. Then they let you wash out your mouth. This also feels weird.
There's just a lot of weirdness involved.

On the other end, my teeth STILL hurt and I STILL have trouble eating. But not as much. And the first few days the metal rubs against your lips and absolutely SHREDS them. However, they get calluses and it's all better.
Yaaaay.

On Thursday, my grandmother took my sister and me Easter shopping. This is a yearly tradition. My grandparents are generally LOADED. My mother says they just manage their money well.

They're LOADED.

So. We went out to eat at Applebee's. Yumyum. Then we went to the mall. The mall is a terrifying place. First of all, if you don't spend every weekend there, you have NO idea where ANYTHING is.
"OHMYGOD. I SWEAR this was NOT a dirty playthings store the last time I was here. OHMYGOD."
That never actually happened. But I think it would be funny.

Second of all, everyone is there with their friends. And all of these people will be wearing skinny jeans. I promise.
Third of all, SOMEBODY will think it was a good idea to wear chains.
Fourth, every single store will make you feel poor unless you are loaded yourself.

We went everywhere that had something even remotely LIKE an Easter dress. There is a process to dress shopping. Generally, it runs in several phases.
1. DRESS SHOPPING! YAYLET'SGOSHOPPING! IT IS UNBELIEVABLE HOW EXCITED I AM! SQUEAL!
2. Wow. This is big. There are a lot of (insert whatever you are shopping for) here. Let's do this, baby!
3. Okay. Nothing here. Let's keep going. Yes. We'll find something.
4. We'll find SOMETHING.
5. You found something? Ooh, that looks good on you. Let's get it!
6. All right. S/he /they found something. I didn't. Now I'm the only one left. LET'S MOVE, PEOPLE!
7. WHY ISN'T THERE ANYTHING?!?!
8. Now all that's left is to shop at the really expensive stores. Grandma?/Mom?/Dad?/Grandpa?/Relative?/My Wallet? This is going to be an investment. I apologize.
9. Okay, let's TRY this place.
10. OHMYGOD. I FOUND ONE. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!
11. Holy #$@#$#@$@$##@$#@$#%$#$##$ WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE? GET MY COLLEGE FUND. I'LL SELL MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL. I NEED THIS (insert whatever you are shopping for)!
12. I got it. Muahahaha. I will look much sexier than you. Hahaha.

Leave out number twelve if you are a good person.

Depending on who you are, shopping for shoes and accessories will be a much easier experience. By then, you're exhausted and you would very much enjoy going home. Unless you're one of those hardcore shoppers that can go forever. There are generally two steps here.
1. Ooh, these are pretty.
2. THEY HAVE MY SIZE. LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I'll tell you a secret.
I do not wear high heels. I have ridiculously weak ankles and terrible balance. I trip over my own feet when I wear FLAT shoes. I'm one of THOSE people. I'm supposed to practice on my brand new rather tall heels. Four inches, maybe? Doesn't sound tall, but trust me. They are.
Who decided heels were a good idea?
A man. I bet it was a man. And he was screwed over by a woman as a teenager, and she scarred him forever so he decided..."Yes. We'll make something very strappy and tiny and spiky. And they have to balance on it."
"Uh, Johnny, these are really tight. They kind of hurt."
"Kind of? Go a size down. You should want to die."

That's exactly what happened.

Another secret: I actually really like wearing them (mostly because I only have to wear them once a year). Shhhh. That's like, against the women's code.

BEAUTY IS PAIN.
Haha. Whoever said that was probably a man, too.

Screw it, barefoot is better.

Love
Love
Love
Samm

Song Quote Of Note: "I'm taking pictures with my mind."
Title: Atmosphere.
Artist: Shinedown.
P.S. In honor of it being the last day of spring break, I'm going to a Shinedown concert tonight with my friend and her mother. We return from the most awesome concert ever (besides Rockfest 2009. That was pretty fantastic) at midnight. On a Sunday night. So rebellious. Especially since our parents gave us permission. Yeah. Rock on. \m/(>.<)\m/